I’m so freaking lonely. I keep trying to tell myself that I should enjoy my own company because I’m an awesome person, and because I’ve historically not been very good at choosing a partner, but sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I want someone else in my life to spend some time with, to have inside jokes with, or to sit in silence with because it’s enough to know they’re sitting there next to me. Right now, I wish I didn’t. I fell too fast, and it hurts.


You would think I would know better by now, but it seems no matter how long I’ve lived I’m still inclined to wear my heart on my sleeve to my own detriment. And sometimes you just connect with someone, and you feel things you haven’t felt in a long time, and you start to wonder. The timing doesn’t always matter. You just know you’ve been happier lately.

So you decide it’s time to have that conversation, to see if they are feeling the same way. You may not be ready to settle into a relationship just yet, but you would like to know there’s potential for it down the road.

There is risk involved in having that kind of conversation, but I’ve always felt like it’s better to have it sooner than later. If you know how you feel, there’s no sense in getting even further into things if you’re not on the same page. And you’re sure that you are!

Ultimately, they tell you they’ve been thinking about how things are going too, but before you can feel any glory with those words, you learn they’ve been feeling the opposite. Something’s off.

I admit this had me reeling. I would never have known. Other than the typical getting to know each other jitters, things had been good in every way (from my end?). We had been spending more time together recently, talking a bit more when apart, planning future dates, and there were no major red flags. What the hell happened to my intuition?

What it comes down to is you have no control over what someone else is feeling or why, and while you can hope things were different, it’s not going to change how they feel. All you can do is move on and hope that later on they realize what a catch they had.

It’s so disheartening, though. I get tired of constantly starting over, and sometimes I think I’m doomed to walk the world alone.

(P.S. I’m not sure who created the meme or I would give full credit.)


4 thoughts on “Having The Feels

  1. I’m feel this way most days but I know we are wrong. There is someone for everyone so we cant possibly end up alone. Writing gets me out of my moods, I hope it does for you too. Beautiful write up

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome. You will be fine once you let out all those pent up emotions using words. Dont lose hope, your love is coming. No such thing as one great love, you can fall inlove several times in your life and each time will be just as beautiful as the rest.

        Liked by 1 person

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